I want to talk to a peer
Talking to someone who “has been there”The announcement of a diagnosis of prostate cancer can upset your existence and that of your loved ones. We know that in difficult times, it is comforting to be able to talk to someone who has already gone through a similar experience. Through our telephone pairing service, whether you are diagnosed yourself or a friend, you can be put in contact with someone who has already overcome the same challenge. In confidence, you will be able to share your experiences, express your emotions, discuss the impact of the illness on your life, and receive advice and encouragement from a volunteer who has gone through the same thing.
Free and confidential, anywhere in Quebec: 1 855 899-2873
How can this service help me?Many people who have used this service say that this has allowed them to better understand what was expected of them throughout their cancer experience or those close to you. By doing so, it helped them be more optimistic, less anxious, and better able to face their challenges.
What should I expect?This is a confidential psychosocial telephone support service, tailored to your needs and preferences. Getting paired with a volunteer is based on a number of criteria, such as type of cancer, sex, language, and lifestyle.
How do I register?This service is easily accessible all over Québec. Call 1 855 899-2873 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. A member of our staff will enroll you in the service.
Who can use this service?Our Psychosocial Telephone Support Service is offered to people with cancer and caregivers aged 18 and over. Your needs may exceed what our volunteers are able to offer. If this happens, we will suggest other services that may help you. You do not have to face cancer alone.
Referral from a health professionalIf your patient or caregiver wishes to speak to someone who has had a similar cancer experience to his own, please contact us at1 855 899-2873 or at email@example.com.
I want to help a peerYou have been touched by cancer and would like to help someone currently going through this experience? Volunteer by contacting Marie-Christine Beauchemin at 1 855 899-2873 or firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out the phone pairing volunteer profiles to see if you are a good candidate and take the test to see if you have what it takes to be a listener. Source: Association des centres d’écoute téléphonique du Québec.
Volunteer profile for telephone pairing
- Have been diagnosed with prostate cancer
- Have undergone treatment for at least one year
- Have the ability to listen
- Have the desire to help, support and give hope in complete confidentiality while respecting the differences peculiar to each person
- Having the ability to easily communicate over the telephone
Expectation of PROCURE:
- Availability for an interview with the telephone pairing coordinator
- Availability for personalized training and individual support
- Compliance with the organization’s guidelines and code of ethics
- Confidentiality of telephone pairing exchanges.
Do you have what it takes to be a listener? True or False
- Respecting a person’s lifestyle choices is a good attitude to have when listening, even if I am convinced that it they are wrong.
TRUE. The challenge of listening is to always respect the person, whatever his life choices. Active listening is focusing on the person by leaving behind our own prejudices or values, making it a blank slate. When we are confronted with ideas or values different from our own and that we find impossible to put aside, referring the person to someone who will be better suited to meet his needs is a wise decision.
- When listening to a person, it is better to have fewer periods of silence.
FALSE. Periods of silence are part of communication and are important moments. Silence speaks a lot and does not happen by chance. The person may be preparing to reveal something important. We can let them feel our presence by saying “I am here!” or “Are you OK” without pressuring them. Silences are often perceived or experienced as embarrassing. As a caregiver, being comfortable with periods of silence can be another challenge.
- The more I sympathize with a person when I listen to him, the more I am able to understand his emotional world.
FALSE. Contrary to empathy, sympathy is an inner attitude in which one feels the same feelings as another person about the same situation, without detachment. Empathy consists of grasping the world of the other and its feelings, accepting the intensity of the emotion lived and putting oneself temporarily in the skin of the other, without being overwhelmed by them.
- The better I know someone, the more I am able to truly listen to him.
FALSE. Knowing the person well has not been proven to be a criterion for listening well. It is enough to pay attention to what has brought us to the present moment. Sometimes it can be even harder to really listen to someone we know well since there is a risk of becoming biased and emotional.
- Finishing a person’s sentence is a good way to make them feel like I understand them.
FALSE. This does not respect their pace and can make them lose confidence to open up. Perhaps they are trying to tell us something and by interrupting them, they may feel rushed.
- Complaining to someone is a good way to make him feel like I understand him.
FALSE. Complaining to someone reinforces his role as a victim and can harm his situation. We can support him and encourage him without pitying him. Pity shows the person that we do not believe in his abilities, that we see his situation as hopeless.
- Women are naturally better listeners than men.
FALSE. This belief is false, active listening does not have anything to do with a person’s sex, it is certainly not innate! Listening to someone who needs help is an art that can be learned. Although we can have a talent for listening, we need to develop them, regardless of gender.
- When listening to someone, I need to know my boundaries.
TRUE. It is important to listen and to establish boundaries, because if not, we can get worn out and lose respect for one another. Respect for others begins with self-respect. For example, if a friend calls you because she needs someone to listen and you have an appointment in half an hour, you explain that you have 15 minutes to listen to her and that if it goes longer you will not be giving her your undivided attention because you will be concerned about your commitments.
- When I listen to a person, it is enriching, if he asks me, to tell her how I solved a similar problem.
FALSE. Naturally and in good faith, we often give advice and think that we are helping. But what is good for us is not necessarily good for another. Each person has their own potential and our role is to make them aware of their own tools and help them draw on their own background and experiences.
- Some people are unable to make their own choices, so it is best to give them advice so that they do not sink any further down into their problems.
FALSE. Every person has their own strengths and potential. The role of the listener is to help him find his own answers by reflecting his emotions, rephrasing what he expresses, all the while respecting his rhythm. On the other hand, in situations of suicidal crisis, we must be more direct and ensure that the person has all the necessary resources.